In a house party, there are so many unexpected visitors with different personalities. Almost everybody is drunk, if not, they are so busy talking with each other and some are acquainting with each other.
In a corner of the house, there are group of teenagers having their conversation, including me. We are five in that corner,My friend Jim (which is not his real name) sat beside her girlfriend Joyce (which is not her real name also) in front of me, so I can see what they are doing. All of us in that corner where drunk but I was a kind of tipsy that time.
Joyce protruded her breast and come nearer to Jim. She acted like very exhausted and lean on he shoulder of Jim. Jim asked her if she wants to go to sleep in the bedroom. She went to the bedroom with Jim but Jim never returned.
We have no idea why he never returned. I guess he fell asleep while accompanying Joyce or they are doing something the tow of them only knew.
This nonverbal communication act can be observed almost anywhere, most especially in house parties, in bars.
Analysis of the Communication Act
The protruding of Joyce’s breast and leaning to Jim’s shoulder could be a way of communication. They are signals that Joyce wants to do something with Jim privately. It is a way of persuasion, albeit, it is not directly stated or not verbally stated. It is a persuasive communication in the sense that Joyce want Jim to do something which Jim response accurately.
It was not directly said because she doesn’t want to invite him first, she was waiting to the the man to do the job.
This nonverbal acts are giving signals in flirting which is called nonverbal flirting or “quasi- courtship” (Tubbs & Moss, 2000). Quasi courtship is a way of persuading or convincing a person by means of nonverbal communication. It is just like the actual courtship in a relationship, but in a nonverbal manner. Actual courting you have to give more effort to convince a girl just to say “yes.” Quasi-courtship, on the other hand, is used commonly with women who are courting men. These actions are said to be louder than voice. Using this nonverbal act can easily persuade a man. Most of the men are aggressive, most especially when they are drunk, unless they are too innocent to do those things, they are homosexual, or they are thinking cognitively.
Body movements are seemed to be more pronounced when women are flirting compared to men who were flirting with women. Women exhibits nonverbal displays directed at male while male just have a glance on them.
There were typical behaviors which was classified, the signs of courtship readiness, positional cues, and actions of appeal (Tubbs & Moss, 2000). Signs of courtship readiness included preening of hair, pulling at stockings, adjusting the tie and etc. Positioning was a source of interpersonal attraction such as leaning forward. Actions of appeal, however, included flirtation glances, crossing the legs exhibiting the palm of the hand and protruding the breast.
According to Monica Moore, these nonverbal displays are courtship signals; they serves as attractants and elicit, they can surely get the attention of males. It was the behavior of female that functioned as regulator in modulating the behavior of men (Moore, 1985). Albert Scheflen investigated these nonverbal flirting gestures through psychotherapy(Moore, 1985 & Tubbs & Moss, 2000). These flirting gestures and behaviors of people come from their different cultural backgrounds (Moore, 1985).
As defined by Albert Scheflen, this body movements that discourages or “block” the interaction, and “invite” to join in the interaction is called “quasi-courtship behavior.” (Larzon, 2001)
This kind of persuasion is merely different from other communication acts for this needs no verbal cues only to persuade a person easily. In the scene of Jim and Joyce, it shows that Jim is the one who verbally invited Joyce to do something but actually, it was Joyce who wants to do it.
Literally, we first think that it was Jim not Joyce who was inviting. But if you analyze the scene, it was Joyce and not Jim. There are evidences which can prove that it was Joyce like the protruding of her breast, leaning on the shoulders, etc. This body movements catches Jim’s attention and became aroused. These gestures of body movements are designed to attract male attention (Moore & Butler, 1989). These expressive behavior may not only be an indication of internal emotional state by may also sometimes function as a mode of negotiation between sender and recipient is an idea (Moore & Butler, 1989).
Leon Festinger’s Theory of Cognitive Dissonance can be applied in this communication act of how Jim processes his cognitive thinking. Cognitive thinking is closely similar with decision making. As with Jim, he decided to do that private thing with Joyce. In my own interpretation, during the time when Joyce was flirting him, he actually thinks if he will do it or not. On the other hand, Joyce’s power of persuading Jim in a nonverbal flirting manner is stronger than his cognitive thinking. Joyce made a successful persuasion for changing Jim’s behavior which lead to the change of attitude. It was the behavior of female that functioned as regulator in modulating the behavior of men (Moore, 1985). If one’s attitude is changed, that person will easily be persuaded. Additionally, Joyce caught his attention. According to Festinger, there are two elements in a dissonant relation if these two alone are obverse of one element would follow from the other (Bettinghaus & Cody, 2001). For Jim, for instances, let us say that he believes that premarital sex could lead to accidents, and will make his life miserable. However premarital sex provides him pleasure.
We experience dissonance every day, however the dissonance we feel can vary tremendously in magnitude (Bettinghaus & Cody, 2001). The magnitude by which we experienced dissonance is related to the importance of the elements involved, the intensity with which attitudes are held toward the elements, and the number of elements. It is the mind that gives our behavior its distinctly human nature. Cognitive dissonance most usually occur after we have done something.
Charles Berger’s Uncertainty Reduction Theory explains that “as the nonverbal affiliative expressiveness increases, uncertainty levels decrease in an initial interaction situation. In addition, decreases in uncertainty level cause increase in nonverbal affiliative expressiveness” (Woods, 1997). Thus, Joyce affiliates more nonverbal cues, Jim has the assurance from Joyce for leaning into his shoulder. The more nonverbal cues we expose the uncertainty decreases.
Richard Petty and John Cacioppo’s Elaboration Likelihood Model is the closest theory that best fit the situation. Elaboration Likelihood Model can explain how Joyce persuade Jim that fast and how Jim thinks of the way of persuading him. Jim never had a second thought of what will be the consequences of having sexual intercourse with her girlfriend. This acceptnce of persuasion falls into the peripheral processing route. Peripheral processing route, as defined by Griffin, offers an easier way to accept a message without deep thinking about the message that has been transmitted. This process involves no effort of cognitive processing, because an individual may not anymore think of the consequences of affording that thing. The only matter is that they attracted to it, and create a pleasure from it. In peripheral processing, a person may never think deeply and meditate the effects of what a person does. For example, Jim should know the disadvantages of having sexual intercourse with Joyce, but he didn’t mind it at all because he is attracted of what Joyce had.
An effective persuasive message can be able to gain the attention of the receiver ( Bettinghaus & Cody, 1994). The receiver of the message should stay focused on the message. In the case of Joyce and Jim, Joyce did something to catch and maintain the attention of Jim by protruding her breasts and lean on Jim’s shoulder. By this way, Jim will not be able to focus his attention to other things because Joyce was there beside him and making him contented of what is there. Joyce continue to do it until she persuaded Jim to do what she wants and intend to say.
Jim somehow thinks of the consequences if he will not make it. In the first place, the woman maybe wants to have it that time, and only that time, he may be lost an opportunity if he did not make it. In addition, it is normal for them to have sexual intercourse nowadays because they are lovers, and lovers are expected to do it (if not expected, it is not surprising), and they are in the right age. It is the priority of the each other to fulfill the needs of each other and make each other happy and contented.
Peripheral persuasion can be more effective if there are variables such as attractiveness to catch and get someone’s attention to the message. In the central processing route, however, the one who is persuaded should be involved in the topic (Larson, 2001). This person cannot be persuaded unless documented evidences of the argument is stated in the discussion. Central processing route makes a person really think of what will be the best way to do whether he will do that thing or not (Griffin, 2006), and think first the consequences if he chooses an option. Persuasion in the central processing route in the product of the person’s careful and practicable consideration of information given (Larson, 2001).
However, Jim did opposite to the central processing route, he did not undergo a very lengthy process of thinking what is the better way to do. There are reasons why he was not doing a cognitive processing thinking. Social proof, reciprocation, consistency, liking, authority and scarcity (Griffin, 2006) are the factors why people prefer to be convinced peripherally than central cognitive processing. When he feels good, he wants to sustain this and will avoid focusing on things that might bring him down again, so they take a more cursory, peripheral route. When the receiver is not motivated to think about the message, if he is unable to process it, or if the argument is weak. A message using the peripheral route attempts to persuade by focusing on issues or themes that are not directly related to the subject matter of the message. However, Joyce uses her nonverbal gestures to persuade Jim instead of saying it.
Though, central processing can be applied in the communication situation but the communication act needs no cognitive processing to think such a long time. It is driven by human instinct to have sexual intercourse. The central route leads to the consideration of both arguments for and against and a choice is carefully considered.
The way of persuasion in the situation of Jim and Joyce needs no argument at all because they understand each other mutually. Their conversation is very loud through their actions. If you really know a person, you know he/she really means through his/her actions because you know all about that person.
Joyce made a very convincing persuasion not only because of the factor what she has that make Jim persuaded because he is obliged, the responsible, and because it is accepted in the society. She made a very convincing persuasion because he have changed the behavior of Jim which results to his change of attitude.
However, the statement which Jim actually stated “Are you Sleepy?” could have an ambiguous meaning. The two of them have understood what it means. It could be a hint that Jim accepts the idea of Joyce.
The communication is not only focused on how the receiver interprets the meaning. It is how the receiver accept the message and how to persuade others using these theories by means of nonverbal communication, not only in nonverbal flirting and quasi-courtship communication.
This research is important in selecting a mate, most especially for men to be aware of what women’s actions speak. It is an edge if you have idea about this kind of courting. In the present time, women are inviting men first, if only they like that guy. Cognitive processing is not so applied in this context for Jim uses a peripheral processing route in accepting a persuasion.
If you have no knowledge about this stuff, you will only think that it is nothing and ignore it. At a first look, it is normal for lovers to have these behaviors without meaning or just to say “Hey. We’re lovers.” Actually, they are expressing their love to each other, they are communicating with each other.
References
Book References:
Bettinghaus, Erwin P., Michael J. Cody. Persuasive Communication. Florida, USA; Harcourt Brace & Company, 5th edition 1994.
Griffin, Em. A First Look at Communication Theory. New York, USA; McGraw-Hill Book Co., 6th edition, 2006.
Larson, Charles U. Persuasion: Reception and Responsibility. California, USA; Wadsworth Publishing Co., 9th edition, 2001.
Tubbs, Stewart L., Sylvia Moss. Human Communication. Singapore; McGraw-Hill Book Co., 8th edition, 2000.
Wood, Julia T. Communication Theories in Action: An Introduction. California, USA; Wadsworth Publishing Co., 1st edition, 1997.
Online References:
Moore, Monica M., Nonverbal Courtship Patterns In Women Context and Consequence. ONLINE. http://www.webster.edu/depts/artsci/bass/faculty/mm1985.htm. 26 March 2008.
Moore, Moonica M., Diana L. Butler. Predictive Aspects of Nonverbal Courtship Behavior in Women. ONLINE. http://www.webster.edu/depts/artsci/bass/faculty/mm1989.htm. 26 March 2008.
Matela, Ariel James A. An Observational Study On The Nonverbal Behavior Elicited By Male UP Mindanao Students When Flirted Upon By Females. http://www.angelfire.com/tv/ajmatela/coma104.html. 26 March 2008.
